Grief

One of the greatest author's of all time dedicated an entire book to grief. In the book, "A Grief Observed", C.S. Lewis shares his journey through grief in losing his wife. He explores his pain and faith through dark hours.  It should be noted that the title "A Grief Observed" speaks of his grief. The article 'A' shows that this grief belongs to one person, shows one man's experience. Lewis knew that all people travel through grief in a manner that is unique to them.

Recently, I have seen several meme's and Facebook posts that state a deep truth. But it is a truth that must be explored. It goes something like this: "If you lose a spouse you become a widow. If you lose a parent you become an orphan. But there is no word to describe a parent that loses their child. That is because this pain is too deep for one word."

Over the last few years I have watched as parents have lost their children and I see the truth of these words. However, I have seen the truth that each grief is personal, deep, and life changing. Each grief gives others a glimpse of a person's true self.

Lewis wrote “God has not been trying an experiment on my faith or love in order to find out their quality. He knew it already. It was I who didn't. In this trial He makes us occupy the dock, the witness box, and the bench all at once. He always knew that my temple was a house of cards. His only way of making me realize the fact was to knock it down.”

Boy, has He knocked down some houses. Two women come to mind when I think of the house of cards falling. Older women, women with years of "faith". Their card houses fell and each has shown their true self. One has wallowed in the experience, used it as an excuse to abuse herself and those who love her. The  other has turned her back on those who love her and sought pleasure for herself to cover the pain.

Another thought of Lewis is this: “My idea of God is not a divine idea. It has to be shattered time after time. He shatters it Himself.”

I watched this past year as He shattered the ideas two young couples have of Him. But I have seen their faith strengthened and their eyes set more fully on Him. Each couple has sought to glorify God in their suffering and grief. Do they cry out in anger and pain over their loss? Without a doubt!! Do they ask Why? Nearly every day!! Do they have moments when all they can do is breathe in and out? Yes!! Are their hearts broken? To bits !!

But in every moment they turn their eyes to God because they know their help and comfort will come from Him alone.  They stretch out their hands and say, "though He slay me, still I trust Him." More amazingly these men and women of faith, point others to Him and declare His goodness and His righteousness to the world. While their child is breathing their last breathes, they pray with other parents for healing of another child. Moments when personal memories are made are shared worldwide to build the faith of others.


“I thought I could describe a state; make a map of sorrow. Sorrow, however, turns out to be not a state but a process.”-Lewis.

So, yes the pain is deep and like no other. But it is a process that must be worked through. Will the pain go away? Never!! Will they move on and forget? Absolutely not!! They will lean hard on God's arm and move through this dark valley of death. God will lead them to green pastures and give them rest and comfort in the land of the dying. And one day, when they walk on streets of gold holding their child once again in their arms, God will bring before them all those souls that learned of God's grace through their grief. They will enter the land of the living (eternally living) and see the product of their struggle and pain in the eyes of many who turned to God because of their journey through grief.

PS (added) When we speak of losing a child or loved one, it almost seems like we have misplaced them. There has to be a better way to describe the way they are ripped from us. Lewis described it in this manner: “The death of a beloved is an amputation.”