"I'd like to look in the mirror without hiding my eyes...
I'd like to see what You see, Why You think I am qualified..."
As you may know by now, music speaks to me more than anything. Right now I am consuming the CD "Music Inspired by The Story." For those of you who have no clue, The Story is a book that simply put is... the story of the Bible, God's great love affair with humanity. 31 Chapters of the stories from the beginning to the end of the Bible.
While I haven't read the book, I was introduced to the music and videos inspired by the book at a women's retreat a few weeks back. And wow!! Before we even left the seminar, I had already bought the songs from iTunes. Since that time, well let's just say Blake knows the word to all the songs.
Which brings me to the above lyrics. It is from the song inspired by the story of Moses and points to all the things that are wrong with him that keep him from doing God's will. But he turns back to the thought that it must be God within him that makes him able to forge ahead in the journey and it must be God that is the good within him to complete the task set before him.
Lately, I have struggled with the idea of not being good enough for my assignment. I wondered if I am not doing a good job or if in some way I am falling short. Sometimes I feel as though people are watching my every move, standing ready to swoop in and take them away. You'd think that by now I would be used to it and comfortable in my role. But daily I wonder if I am doing things the right way.
But then I remember that it is in God's hands. He brought us together and He must see something I don't see in me. He knows the truth and He sees my heart. Our lives are His to hold and mold. I must remember to rely on Him for the strength and grace and understanding they need.
So no matter how others look at us or what they think and say, it is God's back up plan and we are working it out. Sure it isn't what most would have expected or wanted, but it's ours and it's what God has for has now.
On to other things...
My friends Nathan and Amey Fair are some of the best people I know. Their 2 year old daughter was diagnosed with a rare form of brain cancer in January. Amey (the more vocal and writing prone of the two) has started a blog to tell of their family's journey through this battle. She is an amazing woman of God, helpmate to a man of God that few can compare to.
Her blog entries are always inspiring as she shares the roller coaster that is their lives. She maintains a firm grip on the fact that God has it all in His hands. Daily she shares how some trial of the day has reaffirmed or taught her some truth of relationship with God. As I listen to my new CD, the song about Job reminds me of them.
"You were the one who filled my cup...
And You were the One who let it spill
So blessed be Your Holy Name
If You never fill it up again"
Hallelujah
